It’s shocking that I’ve actually posted this. It’s been a little over a year since I last made a post on this blog and let’s say it’s nerve-wracking. Blogging after a hiatus comes with many emotions, mostly, wow. I did it. The imposter syndrome, the why’s, will this affect my career one day down the line, trying to find the motivation, but most of all, the pressure I’m putting on myself. I started this little section of my life in September of 2013 and so many things have happened over the last 8 years, most of which unimaginable when I first began. Here I am though, still, writing, still figuring it out. This time, my restart is a bit different, but it’s allowing me to get back to basics.
A few weeks ago, when I first began thinking about if I wanted to start back up on this journey again, I wrote an Instagram post about feeling a bit lost. To be honest, lost is an understatement. When I imagined my world even a year or two ago, it was nothing like how it is today. We’re told to persevere and figure it out. But why do I need to do that? Short answer: I don’t. I imagined going to grad school, pandemic-free, my mom nearing remission, and being able to bounce back between Milan and London to see my boyfriend. Between the pandemic and just a really cruel twist of fate, I wasn’t allowed any of that. It’s okay that I’m not okay, and won’t be for years, and after my hiatus, I need something both old and new just to help ground me.
Part of why I chose to restart this blog is because I need an outlet. My brain is constantly swirling with ideas, from Instagram shoots to blog posts to how to run a campaign for political office in a new and inventive way. There are so many things going on that I need a place that is just for me. The blog has always been a comforting space for me to find myself and in this moment of constant life upheaval, that is just what I need. I’ve always loved the creativity and moments of fun that come with being a creative, which is what I want to bring with me into this moment.
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The next few months will be strange, but I’m excited to bring you all with me. I’ll be moving internationally for the second time in my life. Also preparing for grad school, while balancing a job in politics that came out of the blue. I’ll have to figure out how to process my grief in losing both of my parents. At the same time, finding love in a relationship that’s going on two very amazing years. For a quick moment, I just would like everything to rest. Just for one moment. That’s what this blog is for and that’s why I’m going back to basics – to my roots. This is my moment to relax and be myself because at the end of the day, I’m writing things that mean a lot to me.
For a long time, I’ve struggled with writing and being a creator. I’ve been creating things that would get me Instagram likes, not things that my heart was in. I’ve limited myself by worrying that if one day I ever decide to make that jump and run for political office, this little piece of my soul would be used against me. Shame, fear, and potential embarrassment limited my creativity. No more. I want to enjoy the life ahead of me and I want to bring you, the person reading this, with me. If you’re here, you’re someone who probably is in a similar situation. Balancing a million things, figuring out your life, or just interested in what’s out there.
I have spent the last 5 or so years of this journey limiting myself and I cannot do that anymore. One of the things I learned over the past year was life is short, so might as well do what I want. After a hiatus of a year, it’s time I bring that to the blog as well. I want to learn, I want to share, I want to be myself or at least figure out who that might be. It sounds strange, but I noted that I shifted my personality around to create a media persona. I thought this would allow me to try being an honest version (or at least a semi-honest version) of myself. Being unapologetically myself is the goal. I don’t think it’s that difficult? Apparently so.
Before I go, I’m going to let you know what you can look forward to. I’ve planned out a lot of content so far, all the way through when I move! I’ve never been quite good at scheduling posts out that far, so this is a big accomplishment for me. Additionally, I spent a lot of my hiatus going through all of my old posts and social media networks like Pinterest to give you a taste. We’ll talk all things moving internationally, including that insane visa process. I’ll take you along with me as I go to grad school and get my Masters.
We’re also going to discuss how I work in politics and why. I’m going to be really honest about how all of what’s happened over the last few years has affected me, and some hard lessons I’ve had in grief, friendships, and more. Plus, back to basics means going back to my roots. So, we’re going all things lifestyle and blogging tips, and I’m super excited to share what I’ve come up with really soon. This list isn’t exhaustive by any means. Regardless, I want this space to be one that grows with me, rather than forced at certain points in my life.
So, I’m committing to myself that I will write things that interest me. Things that would help a younger version of myself get through these tough times. Articles that would have made undergrad easier. Things that will help women demand getting paid what they deserve. Videos that will push people to make more inclusive spaces rather than leaving trans and non-binary people out of their narratives. Things that will just make us all feel a bit more whole. I’m not sure how long this will go on. I’ve at least committed to a full year though, so I am excited.
This endeavor took a lot of preparation and a lot of love. I’m excited to share this journey with you. If you made it to the end, thank you. I will speak with you soon and I look forward to having you on this journey with me. This journey is just beginning! In the meantime, you can sign up for my newsletter below! There, I send out a blast each week with the latest from my blog. You’ll have access to all of my content before anyone else there, so be sure to sign up below for more!
Imagery by Hannah Lozano